I'm sitting here today, reminiscing of old times. As I get older, it seems the past comes to me more and more often. After all, those were the best years of my life. I look forward only from day to day, thinking of the future, yet not planning too much. Dreams are fleeting and the time in which to realize those dreams is quickly passing. In fact, time for most of those dreams is already gone.
God gave me this one chance at life. Have I lived it to the fullest? Have I done everything, said everything, felt all the feelings that I wanted to? I now look back and see how I could have had more compassion, how I could have given more love and understanding; however, don't we all have those thoughts?
Incompleteness. That is a word that could apply to me. It would be that neither did I complete all the things that I should have, nor did I do so in the manner in which I can see now would have been the best.
So the past comes back to haunt me, longingly, lovingly: the sweet dreams of yesteryear - the passion for life. I want to embrace those dreams, hold them, and keep them forever. But the past is gone and the present is filled with tears and laughter, sorrow and happiness.
I was loved by the best and loved the best. We wanted to grow old together.
Today I thank God for the past and for the future. Through it all we live, we love, we dream, we grow in faith.
The first two years after Denny died, I thought I was going to work myself to death. I wanted to be outside constantly - mowing, fixing fence, etc. There was plenty to do so I kept myself busy. The next two years, I guess I was just worn out as I didn't have much energy or desire to accomplish the larger tasks. The last year I have just been procrastinating.
Earlier this month, as I looked up at the full moon, I realized that I needed to get on with my life. I needed to get myself back in shape, my life back in shape.
So, with that goal in mind, I started walking again. I have more energy and I am feeling better, happier, and more energized than I have in years. My heart is in it and I want to enjoy again - to just get out and live life to the fullest.
Sometimes we follow the wrong paths in life, whether it be the beaten path or a new less traveled one. We make our choices, right or wrong. If they are the wrong ones, God leads us back. If we walk in faith we will follow the right paths in life.
From Today's Word with Joel & Victoria Osteen: "Today, stay faithful to follow God's Word, and remember, every step of obedience is another knock on the door of His promises! He will hear you, and He will answer. He will open up doors that no man can shut and lead you into the life of victory He has prepared for you!"
{Matthew 7:7} "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.