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As an international gourmet chef, my skill level probably ranks somewhere between Mr. Magoo and Mr. T.

On second thought, it's unlikely the rankings go that low.

In reality, I don't cook. That's because the few times I tried, I overcooked everything. I burned every food item I touched beyond recognition.

Perhaps you read my recent bestseller, "Offensive Cooking: Take No Prisoners."

My attention span in the kitchen was always the problem. I always left the kitchen to do something - anything - else. And I rarely, if ever, remembered to return before the food was toast - badly burned toast.

So many damaged taste buds. So many nightmares about being chased by an angry gorilla carrying a knife and fork.

The fact that my desk at work is adjacent to TRN food editor Judith McGinnis could be considered a cruel joke if I took cooking seriously. This is a woman who could type a newspaper column with one hand and cook a three-course dinner with the other if she only had an oven within reach. Luckily, Judith has the Southern manners and compassion to avoid making fun of my cooking inexperience.

After narrowly surviving a number of cooking catastrophies in my younger years, I realized that I should do the right thing. I took a solemn pledge to "do no harm" and leave the cooking to others.

There were a few small victories here and there. I managed to fix scrambled eggs a few times. I was so proud. Then there was the one time I followed a recipe - provided by my mother - and made salmon croquets. Somehow, mine didn't have the same great taste.

For those of you who may have recipes to share, YourHub.com is a great place to do so. YourHub.com readers probably have noticed the multiple items posted by Times Record News features clerk/weekend photo imaging artiste Claire Whelan. In addition to typing in items the newspaper receives that are suitable for YourHub.com, she also writes blogs about the big things and the little things going on in her life. You should, too.

Among the latest YourHub.com items from Claire is her recipe for a chocolate soufflé, posted under the heading, "YOU MUST MAKE THIS." Obviously, this rather stringent command does not apply to me - a man wanted in seven states for unspeakable culinary atrocities.

Anyway, after a discussion of the matter, we agreed that it would be best for YourHub.com readers interested in posting recipes to place them under the "blogs" rather than under the heading "stories." In order to make the recipes easier to spot, when you create your recipe blog and give it a name, we suggest typing in the word "recipe" first, then add a brief name for the dish.

And for all the would-be cooks out there, here's Chef Claire Whelan's No. 1 cooking tip: Never buy a cheap fondue pot because they can catch on fire. Even a kitchen dunce like me knows that's not good.